I made the mistake of reading the latest Jackie Harvey just before I read Scott’s entry on the White Sox. The effect was strange, as I half expected Scott’s essay to contain a bunch of bungled names and misstatements, something like this:

You’re fired! Despite the Giants’ poor 9-18 start, Felipe Alou won’t have to worry about hearing those words. Giants owner Peter MacGyver just extended Alou’s contract another year. Congratulations, Felipe!

From day one, Felipe has stated that the Giants would play aggressive baseball, not being afraid to manufacture runs by playing small ball. Of course when your starting roster has Barry Bonds, Edgardo Alfonzo, Gus Grissom and A.J. Hinch, small ball doesn’t seem like the best strategic plan. (And no, I’m not saying that just because I love to see those home runs splash into the Pacific Ocean at SPF Park. No angry comments, please!)

Know what I miss? I miss when “BP” stood for “batting practice”. Now it stands for those statistical wizards over at Baseball Perspectives. Maybe they know how to fix the Giants, because GM Brian Saberhagen has struck out on the acquisitions of Dustin Mohr, Jeffrey Leonard, and Chris Tucker for right field. But we know that sooner or later, shortstop Deivi Perez will catch fire.

You’re traded! Word from the grapevine is that the Giants are trying to beef up their starting rotation, but Saberhagen doesn’t want to give up their best prospect, David Aardvark. How would Justin Duchsouper look in orange and black? I like his style–he reminds me of a young Stan Laurel!

Last item! One month into the season I would give the Giants a B-grade. That’s B as in Bonds, Barry Bonds, who hasn’t let all this PETCO nonsense distract him. Bully for him!