Ken Arneson will miss 2-4 weeks of the soccer season, after suffering a sprained ankle three minutes into Friday’s game.

Owowowowowow. My foot got stepped on, my ankle turned over, and I could hear the ligaments rip. That hurt. So this old fart is now stuck sitting in front of the TV, practicing RICE, and there’s nothing on TV to watch except this godawful Diamondbacks-Giants game.

I’m a fair-weather Giants fan, but I find this year’s Giants team darn near unwatchable, except for Jason Schmidt and Barry Bonds. How good is Bonds? The Giants are right in the middle of the playoff hunt, and they have Deivi Cruz batting third tonight. Deivi Cruz!

Dave Burba entered the game in the fourth inning. My sister-in-law walked into the room and said, “Oh my God, is that Dave Burba? Are you watching ESPN Classic?”

I wish. I don’t get ESPN Classic. This game is almost three hours old now, it’s 18-5 Giants, and we’re still in the sixth inning. It won’t be good enough to be a classic, but by the time this game is over, it will have aged enough to qualify. And I might be ready for my AARP card.