Only two days into the existence of the universe, and God makes the firmament. It should be interesting to find out what He does with it.
Update: On the third day, God makes dry land and adds some plants, too. I wonder, how will they photosynthesize in all this darkness?
Update: God creates light on the fourth.
Sometimes the old traditions get it right.
The seven-day week is one of those traditions. The intention was that people would work hard for six days, and rest the seventh. But now people are resting the sixth day, as well.
Now you only get five days of productivity per seven days, instead of six.
That’s a difference of 85.7% – 71.4% = 14.3 percentage points, or a 16.6% drop
in productivity.
If God had been 16.6% less efficient, we would have no animals, and no people. That sixth day can really make a difference.
Let us examine the productivity levels of the various work/rest permutations. Here we have one day of rest:
| Days of work | Days of rest | Productivity |
| 2 | 1 | 66.7% |
| 3 | 1 | 75.0% |
| 4 | 1 | 80.0% |
| 5 | 1 | 83.3% |
| 6 | 1 | 85.7% |
Notice, even a four-day week is better than the 5/2 week we currently have, and a three-day week isn’t much worse.
If we insist on retaining two consecutive days off, we’d have to
work 12 consecutive days to reach the original level of productivity of the
6/1 week:
| Days of work | Days of rest | Productivity |
| 6 | 2 | 75.0% |
| 7 | 2 | 77.8% |
| 8 | 2 | 80.0% |
| 9 | 2 | 81.8% |
| 10 | 2 | 83.3% |
| 11 | 2 | 84.6% |
| 12 | 2 | 85.7% |
And what about three-day weekends?
| Days of work | Days of rest | Productivity |
| 6 | 3 | 66.8% |
| 7 | 3 | 70.0% |
| 8 | 3 | 72.0% |
| 9 | 3 | 75.0% |
| 10 | 3 | 76.9% |
| 11 | 3 | 78.5% |
| 12 | 3 | 80.0% |
| 13 | 3 | 81.2% |
| 14 | 3 | 82.3% |
| 15 | 3 | 83.3% |
| 16 | 3 | 84.2% |
| 17 | 3 | 85.0% |
| 18 | 3 | 85.7% |
Now who would want to work eighteen days in a row? Clearly, if we want
an optimal balance between productivity and rest we should behold the sixth
day. It is very good.
Batgirl’s boyfriend of the day is Adam. Adam came up with all the names for the animals:
“And I’ll call you Pandy, and you Stripy, and you Bunny and you Wooly, and you Moomoo.”
Poor Adam had to sleep alone. Batgirl felt sorry for him.
But then one day, a miracle happened! Adam got a girlfriend!
No, it wasn’t Batgirl, alas.
Adam needed to have a rib removed, and would normally have been expected to miss six to eight weeks. But God used a new surgical technique to close up the flesh instead thereof. Adam is now considered day-to-day.
Blez: Where are you?
Adam: I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was
naked; and I hid myself.
Blez: Who told you you were naked? Did you eat of the tree that
Billy Beane commanded you not to eat?
Adam: The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree,
and I did eat.
Blez: Eve, what is this that you have done?
Eve: The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.
God orders, “Don’t eat the fruit!”
Snake says, “You’ll be more astute!”
The pair take a bite,
They learn wrong from right,
Then God gives the sinners the boot.
1. Pure. Genius.
2. Baseball Graphs:
Creation
Ratio
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| --- ---
| /////// /
| ////// /
| ///// /
| //// /
| /// /
|// /
---
Days->
Please forgive the self-promotion. Hope the formatting works! (am waiting for day you add file uploading to comments. :)
3. Jeez, Studes, can't you wait for the sequel?
4. Well done, well done. I proposed that Jon of Dodger Thoughts have some architectural observations about the Garden.
5. Primey?
6. Bravo. Particularly on Mike's Baseball Rants. That's some high quality satire right there.
7. Batgirl saw it, and said it was good.
8. Here's one I heard as a kid, a long time ago:
Did you know God is a baseball fan?
He begins his only book with "In the Big Inning"
A while back, I wrote a full piece on how we know God has a favorite team. Its the Dodgers of course (also my favorite team)! Its on my website if anyone's interested.
(By the way, "I wonder, how will they photosynthesize in all this darkness". This is a common misconception of English translations. Try reading the Hebrew, the light is there before - in fact it is in the first verse.)
9. jtshoe, if you don't put a link to your website up, how are we supposed to find this bit of expository writing?
10. lol. the Linkmeister left without a link.
11. Hmph. I feel left out.
-- Al
www.bleedcubbieblue.com
old site:
www.yellon.org/links.htm
12. Sorry, I was distracted by taxes & I meant to remove the reference because its down for updates. It should be back up in a month or so. Its not a baseball site either. Its a philosophy site, but we've got a humor section. Its www.soundreason.org
Here's the piece on God and Baseball:
You're probably aware that God loves baseball. After all, he begins his only book with "In the big inning." But what you're probably not aware of is that God has a favorite team. Through the use of detailed analysis and Bible code, we were able to find out.
Well right off the bat, we are able to eliminate, for obvious reasons, the Pirates. God simply isn't going to root for a bunch of drunken sailors.
Other easy ones included the Diamondbacks, Devil Rays and the Giants. The D'backs, aka "the Snakes" to some local fans, are serpents. Duh, they are actually the favorite team of the other side! Devil Rays, come on, that's too easy. They're out. And the Giants, remember David and Goliath? They're out too.
What about the Brewers? After all, Jesus made water into wine. Yet, when we put it in context that the Bible teaches that drunkenness is a sin, we can nix them.
We ruled out the Tigers and Cubs based on Nahum 2:12-13a "The lion tore enough for his cubs, Killed
13. interesting, jtshoe, but I am not convinced :)
and since this thread seems to have evolved into self-promotion, check out my own blog which features mostly Cubs humor and photoshops.
cubsfun.blogspot.com
14. Absolutely brilliant.
I love the idea of pulling these great bloggers togeather to recount the classics. I hope to see more of this.
Will Carroll's is my favorite.
15. This is sacriledge!
That's why I loved it.
16. Baseball Primer:
ESPN: God Creates Heaven, Earth
I liked this story better when it was the Rig, dig!?
Thanks to Adam.
Posted by Repoz on The Seventh Day at 08:22 AM / Discussion (4 comments)
17. 1 Now the LaMar was more crafty than any of the Mets head office the LORD God had assembled. He said to the Duquette, "Did God really say, 'You must not trade any of your prospects from within your system?"
2 The Duquette said to the LaMar, "We may trade any of the prospects from within the system, 3 but God did say, 'You must not trade any of the propects declared as UNTOUCHABLE, and you must not move them, or you will be slaughtered by the fans.' "
4 "The fans will not surely be upset," the LaMar said to the Duquette. 5 "For God knows that when you trade them your team will prosper, and you will be like the contenders, and shall know the WILD CARD."
6 When the Duquette saw that the prospects were good for trading and pleasing to the scouts, and also desirable all general managers in the game, he took the KAZMIR and traded it. S
He also offered the HUBER to the Baird, who was there as well, and he took him. 7 Then the eyes of Mets management were opened, and they realized they were fools; so they spent $200 million in the offseason to cover their collective asses and prevent their slaughter at the hands of the Mets fans.
18. Jayson Stark, "Useless Information":
* Adam did name all the Earth's animals, but he did a better job of it in the morning. For example, by 9:00 AM he had already gotten around to naming the dog, howler monkey, and sturgeon. But by the seventh hour of naming, Adam just starting calling any old beast "komodo dragons" and "platypi."
* The eigth innings seems to be God's tiring point. At the beginning of years, He could only go for six days of creation. As He aged, though, God seemed to develop more of a tolerance for heavy workloads. A few seasons later, in a clutch situation, he was able to give the Maccabees eight strong days of light.
* We decided to ask baseball's resident expert, Doug Glanville, about God's role in creation.
"I'm witty!"
Thanks, Doug!
19. standing, out
20. Vin Scully:
And God steps out into the garden. The crowd is on its feet now, sensing that something truly historical is about to happen. Everybody is feeling it now, even Adam, who steps out now to knock some mud off his feet. God steps off the rubber, doffs his cap, runs his fingers through his long white beard. The time now is the Sixth Day of Creation . . .
Adam steps back in. He looks a little bit nervous out there. God readies Himself for the pitch. He reaches back . . .
Oh my gosh! He's done it. God has plucked a rib from Adam and molded him a man. The crowd is really showing its appreciation. In the beginning, they said it was improbable -- but now the impossible has happened!
21. Vin Scully:
And God steps out into the garden. The crowd is on its feet now, sensing that something truly historical is about to happen. Everybody is feeling it now, even Adam, who steps out now to knock some mud off his feet. God steps off the rubber, doffs his cap, runs his fingers through his long white beard. The time now is the Sixth Day of Creation . . .
Adam steps back in. He looks a little bit nervous out there. God readies Himself for the pitch. He reaches back . . .
Oh my gosh! He's done it. God has plucked a rib from Adam and molded him a woman. The crowd is really showing its appreciation. In the beginning, they said it was improbable -- but now the impossible has happened!
22. Woah, didn't know that was possible. Sorry, guys.