Turner on, Turner off:
Thirteen consecutive
NL East titles will
Finally stop.

Bullpen deficiency
Outfieldanemia
Fatally killing the
Tomahawk chop.

 
Citizen pitizen:
Have to feel sorry for
Fans of the Phillies who
Think they will win.

Unlieberthalian
Hitting is decent, but
Unlieberjonian
Pitching is thin.

 
Becketty, Bumpity:
Florida’s pitchers are
Gifted but fragile, so
Handle with care.

Carlos Delgado will
Hit thirty homers but
Average fifteen when he’s
Teamed with Pierre.

 
Vita-Minayamin:
Adding great talent like
Carlos and Pedro will
Lift up New York.

Only to fall when their
Octogenarians
Act like their age and get
Stuck with a fork.

 
Youppi less, Yuppie more:
Moving to Washington
Gives ’em a ballpark with
Fans in the seats.

Wilkerson answers quite
Enthusiastically,
Leading the Nats to the
Fewest defeats.