Press Release: Arneson To Shower, Shave
by Ken Arneson
2007-03-13 17:34

Catfish Stew, a weblog dedicated to staying on the cutting edge of Oakland Athletics baseball culture, hereby announces the following:

  • Columnist Philip Michaels pledges to brush and floss his teeth
     
  • Arizona Bureau Chief Ryan Armbrust will clip all ten fingernails AND all ten toenails
     
  • Founder Ken Arneson will shower, shave, and get the best a man can get. Adds Arneson, “I’ll be clean as a whistle! 99 44/100% pure! Because I’m worth it.”
     

These pledges are made in conjunction with today’s Oakland Athletics press release, which announces that Nick Swisher will be getting a haircut.

Comments: 8
1.   Philip Michaels
2007-03-13 20:09

1.  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Floss?

I think not.

2.   trainwreck
2007-03-13 21:16

2.  Swisher getting a haircut is just wrong. He may lose his power. He is a regular Samson.

3.   jmoney
2007-03-13 21:40

3.  So many things about this, I can barely contain myself.

1) Saw a little bit of the A's-Giants game on FSN tonight. They showed clips of Swisher meeting some troops before the game; he was wearing his baseball cap, but his hair was not pulled back--it was flopping down the sides and over his ears. Combined with his probably not having shaved in a week, I swear Swish looked like Teen Wolf. I was laughing for 5 minutes.

2)Gotta love it when the press release comes with the footnotes attached. It's like MLB is trying to prove that everything posted on its website is not hokum (come on, the "writer" covering the A's is Mychael Urban).

3) The Press Release also says Swisher is an "active participant" in Strikeouts for Troops. Does he donate money everytime he strikes out? If so, maybe there's still time to salvage this whole war in Iraq thing after all...

4.   Vishal
2007-03-14 00:04

4.  swisher is now all but guaranteed to go bald.

5.   Ryan Armbrust
2007-03-14 00:13

5.  I have to do my part to keep Naglfar from growing larger, or course...

And if you know what I'm talking about without consulting wikipedia, you know far too much about Norse mythology.

6.   Ken Arneson
2007-03-14 01:48

6.  5 I did not know about Naglfar, but I took a guess, and wasn't too far off. "Nagel" is the Swedish word for "nail" (finger/toe kind, not hammer kind).

7.   fordprefect
2007-03-14 14:18

7.  5
Swedish death metal too?

8.   Whitebacon
2007-03-16 01:49

8.  I actually just spent the last two and a half years doing this, cutting my hair last week. It feels great to be back to a buzzcut.

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