There will be an epic battle this weekend, quite possibly the greatest finish ever. Three games, winner takes all. It is so compelling that it clearly needs an Muhammed Ali-like name, so we can remember it forever with just the phrase. So get ready for: The Battle in Seattle!
Yes, this weekend’s Mariners-Rangers series is one for the ages! It’s the one you’ll be telling your grandkids about! For the winner of this series will crowned the 2007 MLB Heavyweight of the Year.
For those of you unfamiliar with this crown, it works like boxing: if you beat the champion, you become the champion. We start out each season with the previous year’s World Series winner. Every game the champion plays is a title bout. If the champion loses, a new champion is crowned. The team that finishes the regular season with the most title bout victories is declared the Heavyweight of the Year. (In case of ties, the team with the fewest losses wins.)
The Mariners are the current champions. See the Catfish Stew sidebar for the full MLB Heavyweight standings.
Going into this final weekend, the Chicago White Sox are in first place, with 13 wins. But oddly, the White Sox have actually clinched a second-place finish, despite their current lead in the standings. That’s because the teams tied for second with 11 wins, Seattle and Texas, play each other this weekend. By Sunday, one of them will at least match Chicago’s 13 victories. And since the Chicago will have more title bout losses than either the Mariners or the Rangers, the White Sox can’t finish in first place.
And so, we are left with possibly the greatest Heavyweight finish in the history of major-league baseball: a three-game, winner-take-all series for all the marbles.
Seattle Mariners. Texas Rangers. The Battle In Seattle! It’ll be great. I just can’t wait.
1. Go Texas!
2. Go Banana!
3. If Texas wins, Ron Washington will have been coaching for the Heavyweight of the Year three consecutive years. He's two wins from becoming a one-man dynasty.
4. 2 BANANA!
3 BANANA!
5. Banana stand!
6. This is awesome! Nobody ever told me about it before. And it guarantees that there are meaningful games right till the end of the season.
Also, who knew that all the kook kidz hung out here at Catfish Stew? Now I know.
7. Oh, and 5 :
Afghanistan!
8. Come on, Grapefruit!
9. Well Ken, since I started all of this crap, I have 2 choices: Apologize or join in. Yankz, RIYank - I, too, am a never-nude. God bless you all, and good night.
PS I'm not really sure why a Simpsons joke got turned into an Arrested Development joke.
10. 9 Must have been the Big Yellow Joint.