2007 Photo Outtakes and Trade Rumors: A’s Asking for NL in Exchange for Haren
by Ken Arneson
2007-12-04 16:55

Unconfirmable sources have informed Catfish Stew that following today’s trade of Cameron Maybin (pictured above), Andrew Miller, and some other fuzzy feline fluff to Florida in exchange for the awesomely studly bat of Miguel Cabrera and the cooler-than-words-can-describe Dontrelle Willis, the Oakland Athletics have changed their trade demands when it comes to their most prominent trade bait, Dan Haren.

No longer are the A’s asking for four top prospects in return for Haren. Instead, the A’s will simply give Haren away to any NL team that is willing to switch leagues with them.

"Seriously, have you seen the Tigers’ lineup now?" an Athletics source is reported to have said. "There’s no freakin’ way we can compete with that. And Johan Santana joining a rotation with Beckett, Matsuzaka, Schilling, and Buchholz? Unbelievable. And then you’ve got the Yankees and Angels who have money growing on trees…it just ain’t fair."

The source says the A’s have done their math homework, and trading Haren for switching leagues would pay for itself. "We’d lose the revenue from all those Red Sox and Yankee games, and we’d lose about five wins by giving Haren away, but we still could easily win 95-100 games in the National League, and make all the money back in the playoffs. The NL sucks."

The A’s hope to find some greedy sucker NL owner who would drool over the idea of adding Haren to their rotation, and then counting all the extra revenue from adding nine Red Sox and Yankee home games a year. "It shouldn’t be too hard," said the source. "The entire National League is run by bozos."

Comments: 10
1.   trainwreck
2007-12-04 17:49

1.  As soon as this trade happened I thought that maybe the A's should petition to switch leagues.

Glad I was not the only one.

2.   Eric Enders
2007-12-04 17:59

2.  Before reading the post, I interpreted the headline as saying that the A's were demanding every player in the NL in exchange for Haren. Which really isn't too far off.

3.   Andrew Shimmin
2007-12-04 18:26

3.  That's not funny!

Well, okay, technically it's funny. Really funny. But I'm still scandalized. You, sir, are no gentleman.

4.   mehmattski
2007-12-04 18:44

4.  It's fine, because Dontrelle Willis can't hurt you with the bat in the AL. In fact, he will help you with his increasing penchant for giving up walks and homers...

5.   MC Safety
2007-12-04 18:59

5.  Fuzzy Feline Fluff is an awesome fantasy team name.

6.   Ken Arneson
2007-12-04 20:19

6.  2 Ken Rosenthal said that the DBacks thought the A's demands for Haren were "excessive", so maybe they did ask for every player in the NL.

7.   Gagne55
2007-12-05 16:32

7.  I thought the same thing Enders did. lol

8.   3rd gen yankee fan
2007-12-05 21:55

8.  Hilarious.

9.   Yankee Fan In Boston
2007-12-06 08:03

9.  7 as did i, but this was just as funny.

10.   Rob Middletown CT
2007-12-06 09:27

10.  Funny either way, but yeah, I thought it was about them demanding the sun, moon and the stars in the sky for Haren.

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