Ken Arneson : Score Bard

Author: Score Bard

Humbugardy: Bravery for 400

by Score Bard

2005-09-08 17:06

This is Humbugardy. I’m your host, Alex Scorebard.

In ’73,
Hank’s 40 dingers
Were third on his team
Behind these heavy swingers

Bravery	Haiku Trades	Same School	“Tools” of Ignorance	Literary Baseball	Ballpark Franks
100	Derek Smart	Jen	Baby Maddux	Humma Kavula	metfaninalaska
Baby Maddux	200	200	Cliff Corcoran	TFD	MattPat11
Dan Lucero	TFD	Joe	For The Turnstiles	Ryan Wilkins	300
Shaun P	Jacob L	T J	Bob Timmerman	Bob Timmerman	400
Rorschach	Next…	Philip Michaels	Shaun P	500	500

Note: Using the web to search is cheating…you gotta know (or guess) off the top of your head.

Permalink | 9 Comments

Ghost Runners

by Score Bard

2005-09-06 12:01

The math requires them.

Invisible variables
to balance out
every equation.

   Massless particles
      to fill the gaps
   in the universe.

The bell tail
to complete the curve
of the economy.

The math requires them.

The math tells them.

      Run the bases adequately,
         without freedom, without creativity.
      Advance only when forced to advance.

         Slip the first baseman’s glove over your fingers,
            but do not dream to use it.
         The pitcher’s hands now own its privileges.

      Go quarantine right field,
         and do not leave the area.
      Every ball you touch turns dead.

The math tells them.

The math betrays them.

When the mother calls
it’s time for dinner boys
they stay outside, and starve.

   When the wind blows
      too cold to keep playing boys
   they are forgotten, and freeze.

When the storm rains down
come inside and dry off boys
they overflow with outrage, and drown.

The math betrays them.

Permalink

Humbugardy: Haiku Trades for 300

by Score Bard

2005-09-06 12:01

This is Humbugardy. I’m your host, Alex Scorebard.

Javier Vazquez,
Nick Johnson, Juan Rivera…

Bravery	Haiku Trades	Same School	“Tools” of Ignorance	Literary Baseball	Ballpark Franks
100	Derek Smart	Jen	Baby Maddux	Humma Kavula	metfaninalaska
Baby Maddux	200	200	Cliff Corcoran	TFD	MattPat11
Dan Lucero	TFD	Joe	For The Turnstiles	Ryan Wilkins	300
Next…	Jacob L	T J	Bob Timmerman	Bob Timmerman	400
Rorschach	500	Philip Michaels	Shaun P	500	500

Note: Using the web to search is cheating…you gotta know (or guess) off the top of your head.

Permalink | 4 Comments

Humbugardy: Bravery for 500

by Score Bard

2005-09-02 13:00

This is Humbugardy. I’m your host, Alex Scorebard.

His World Series numbers
Are objectively clean
He threw nothing but zeros
In 1914

Bravery	Haiku Trades	Same School	“Tools” of Ignorance	Literary Baseball	Ballpark Franks
100	Derek Smart	Jen	Baby Maddux	Humma Kavula	metfaninalaska
Baby Maddux	200	200	Cliff Corcoran	TFD	MattPat11
Dan Lucero	Next…	Joe	For The Turnstiles	Ryan Wilkins	300
400	Jacob L	T J	Bob Timmerman	Bob Timmerman	400
Rorschach	500	Philip Michaels	Shaun P	500	500

Note: Using the web to search is cheating…you gotta know (or guess) off the top of your head.

Permalink | 6 Comments

Humbugardy: Literary Baseball for 200

by Score Bard

2005-08-30 19:22

This is Humbugardy. I’m your host, Alex Scorebard.

“The Knave of Hearts
Brought back the tarts,
And vowed he’d” do this

Bravery	Haiku Trades	Same School	“Tools” of Ignorance	Literary Baseball	Ballpark Franks
100	Derek Smart	Jen	Baby Maddux	Humma Kavula	metfaninalaska
Baby Maddux	200	200	Cliff Corcoran	TFD	MattPat11
Dan Lucero	300	Joe	For The Turnstiles	Ryan Wilkins	300
400	Jacob L	T J	Bob Timmerman	Bob Timmerman	400
Next…	500	Philip Michaels	Shaun P	500	500

Note: Using the web to search is cheating…you gotta know (or guess) off the top of your head.

Permalink | 5 Comments

Humbugardy: Same School for 400

by Score Bard

2005-08-27 11:04

This is Humbugardy. I’m your host, Alex Scorebard.

Though Eckstein and Ellis
Don’t hit many taters,
They shared this team’s infield…

Bravery	Haiku Trades	Same School	“Tools” of Ignorance	Literary Baseball	Ballpark Franks
100	Derek Smart	Jen	Baby Maddux	Humma Kavula	metfaninalaska
Baby Maddux	200	200	Cliff Corcoran	Next…	MattPat11
Dan Lucero	300	Joe	For The Turnstiles	Ryan Wilkins	300
400	Jacob L	T J	Bob Timmerman	Bob Timmerman	400
500	500	Philip Michaels	Shaun P	500	500

Note: Using the web to search is cheating…you gotta know (or guess) off the top of your head.

Permalink | 15 Comments

Humbugardy: Same School for 500

by Score Bard

2005-08-25 2:10

This is Humbugardy. I’m your host, Alex Scorebard.

Randy Winn, Adam Melhuse
From the current era
Come from here, and Mike Crudale…

Bravery	Haiku Trades	Same School	“Tools” of Ignorance	Literary Baseball	Ballpark Franks
100	Derek Smart	Jen	Baby Maddux	Humma Kavula	metfaninalaska
Baby Maddux	200	200	Cliff Corcoran	200	MattPat11
Dan Lucero	300	Joe	For The Turnstiles	Ryan Wilkins	300
400	Jacob L	Next…	Bob Timmerman	Bob Timmerman	400
500	500	Philip Michaels	Shaun P	500	500

Note: Using the web to search is cheating…you gotta know (or guess) off the top of your head.

Permalink | 8 Comments

Humbugardy: Same School for 300

by Score Bard

2005-08-23 12:05

This is Humbugardy. I’m your host, Alex Scorebard.

Biggio’s not tall.
Vaughn sure wasn’t small.
Morris hurled the ball…

Bravery	Haiku Trades	Same School	“Tools” of Ignorance	Literary Baseball	Ballpark Franks
100	Derek Smart	Jen	Baby Maddux	Humma Kavula	metfaninalaska
Baby Maddux	200	200	Cliff Corcoran	200	MattPat11
Dan Lucero	300	Joe	For The Turnstiles	Ryan Wilkins	300
400	Jacob L	400	Bob Timmerman	Bob Timmerman	400
500	500	500	Shaun P	500	500

Note: Using the web to search is cheating…you gotta know (or guess) off the top of your head.

Permalink | 11 Comments

Humbugardy: Bravery for 300

by Score Bard

2005-08-22 8:38

This is Humbugardy. I’m your host, Alex Scorebard.

When he yielded that homer
To the Twins’ Kirby Puckett,
The whole state of Georgia
Cried at once, “Oh, no! Rats!”

Bravery	Haiku Trades	Same School	“Tools” of Ignorance	Literary Baseball	Ballpark Franks
100	Derek Smart	Jen	Baby Maddux	Humma Kavula	metfaninalaska
Baby Maddux	200	200	Cliff Corcoran	200	MattPat11
Dan Lucero	Next…	300	For The Turnstiles	Ryan Wilkins	300
400	Jacob L	400	Bob Timmerman	Bob Timmerman	400
500	500	500	Shaun P	500	500

Note: Using the web to search is cheating…you gotta know (or guess) off the top of your head.

Permalink | 6 Comments

Humbugardy: Ballpark Franks for 200

by Score Bard

2005-08-17 10:31

This is Humbugardy. I’m your host, Alex Scorebard.

Frank Viola once led
St. John’s to prevail
Over Ron Darling
From here…

Bravery	Haiku Trades	Same School	“Tools” of Ignorance	Literary Baseball	Ballpark Franks
100	Derek Smart	Jen	Baby Maddux	Humma Kavula	metfaninalaska
Baby Maddux	200	200	Cliff Corcoran	200	MattPat11
Next…	300	300	For The Turnstiles	Ryan Wilkins	300
400	Jacob L	400	Bob Timmerman	Bob Timmerman	400
500	500	500	Shaun P	500	500

Note: Using the web to search is cheating…you gotta know (or guess) off the top of your head.

Permalink | 9 Comments

Humbugardy: Haiku Trades for 400

by Score Bard

2005-08-16 12:14

This is Humbugardy. I’m your host, Alex Scorebard.

Cash, David Pauley,
Ramon Vazquez, Jay Payton…

Bravery	Haiku Trades	Same School	“Tools” of Ignorance	Literary Baseball	Ballpark Franks
100	Derek Smart	Jen	Baby Maddux	Humma Kavula	metfaninalaska
Baby Maddux	200	200	Cliff Corcoran	200	Next…
300	300	300	For The Turnstiles	Ryan Wilkins	300
400	Jacob L	400	Bob Timmerman	Bob Timmerman	400
500	500	500	Shaun P	500	500

Note: Using the web to search is cheating…you gotta know (or guess) off the top of your head.

Permalink | 11 Comments

Humbugardy: Literary Baseball for 400

by Score Bard

2005-08-15 21:44

This is Humbugardy. I’m your host, Alex Scorebard.

Her poem “Rouge Gagne” was not about le Dodger Bleu; she died 90 years before Eric was born

Bravery	Haiku Trades	Same School	“Tools” of Ignorance	Literary Baseball	Ballpark Franks
100	Derek Smart	Jen	Baby Maddux	Humma Kavula	metfaninalaska
Baby Maddux	200	200	Cliff Corcoran	200	200
300	300	300	For The Turnstiles	Ryan Wilkins	300
400	Next…	400	Bob Timmerman	Bob Timmerman	400
500	500	500	Shaun P	500	500

Note: Using the web to search is cheating…you gotta know (or guess) off the top of your head.

Permalink | 6 Comments

Humbugardy: Literary Baseball for 300

by Score Bard

2005-08-11 12:19

This is Humbugardy. I’m your host, Alex Scorebard.

This poet was referring to men with brooms, not bats, when he innocently sang, “down a green plain leaping, laughing, they run”.

Bravery	Haiku Trades	Same School	“Tools” of Ignorance	Literary Baseball	Ballpark Franks
100	Derek Smart	Jen	Baby Maddux	Humma Kavula	metfaninalaska
Baby Maddux	200	200	Cliff Corcoran	200	200
300	300	300	For The Turnstiles	…	300
400	400	400	Bob Timmerman	400	400
500	500	500	Shaun P	500	500

Note: Using the web to search is cheating…you gotta know (or guess) off the top of your head.

Permalink | 11 Comments

Humbugardy: Bravery for 200

by Score Bard

2005-08-10 14:24

This is Humbugardy. I’m your host, Alex Scorebard.

A playoff game ending
That seemed like a dream
He hit the single
That drove in Sid Bream.

Bravery	Haiku Trades	Same School	“Tools” of Ignorance	Literary Baseball	Ballpark Franks
100	Derek Smart	Jen	Baby Maddux	Humma Kavula	metfaninalaska
Baby Maddux	200	200	Cliff Corcoran	200	200
300	300	300	For The Turnstiles	Next…	300
400	400	400	Bob Timmerman	400	400
500	500	500	Shaun P	500	500

Note: Using the web to search is cheating…you gotta know (or guess) off the top of your head.

Permalink | 6 Comments

Humbugardy: Tools of Ignorance for 500

by Score Bard

2005-08-08 14:16

This is Humbugardy. I’m your host, Alex Scorebard.

He figured out that homers matter,
Wheeled the Babe out as a batter.

Bravery	Haiku Trades	Same School	“Tools” of Ignorance	Literary Baseball	Ballpark Franks
100	Derek Smart	Jen	Baby Maddux	Humma Kavula	metfaninalaska
200	200	200	Cliff Corcoran	200	200
300	300	300	For The Turnstiles	300	300
400	400	400	Bob Timmerman	400	400
500	500	500	Shaun P	500	500

Note: Using the web to search is cheating…you gotta know (or guess) off the top of your head.

Permalink | 5 Comments

Humbugardy: Tools of Ignorance for 400

by Score Bard

2005-08-05 18:01

This is Humbugardy. I’m your host, Alex Scorebard.

In Lew’s short career
He mostly just sat,
Likely because of
A hole in his bat.

Bravery	Haiku Trades	Same School	“Tools” of Ignorance	Literary Baseball	Ballpark Franks
100	Derek Smart	Jen	Baby Maddux	Humma Kavula	metfaninalaska
200	200	200	Cliff Corcoran	200	200
300	300	300	For The Turnstiles	300	300
400	400	400	Bob Timmerman	400	400
500	500	500	Next…	500	500

Note: Using the web to search is cheating…you gotta know (or guess) off the top of your head.

Permalink | 8 Comments

Humbugardy: Tools of Ignorance for 300

by Score Bard

2005-08-04 20:05

This is Humbugardy. I’m your host, Alex Scorebard.

No matter which jersey,
He’d usually wield
20-plus homers
And smoothness afield.

Bravery	Haiku Trades	Same School	“Tools” of Ignorance	Literary Baseball	Ballpark Franks
100	Derek Smart	Jen	Baby Maddux	Humma Kavula	metfaninalaska
200	200	200	Cliff Corcoran	200	200
300	300	300	For The Turnstiles	300	300
400	400	400	400	400	400
500	500	500	500	500	500

Note: Using the web to search is cheating…you gotta know (or guess) off the top of your head.

Permalink | 6 Comments

Orioles Fire Manager

by Score Bard

2005-08-04 16:45

Why put the blame on Mazzilli?
The GM needs pitchers more skilli.
Lee can’t have controlled
That Sosa got old,
And Roberts and Mora went chilli.

Permalink | 1 Comment

Humbugardy: Tools of Ignorance for 200

by Score Bard

2005-08-03 11:00

This is Humbugardy. I’m your host, Alex Scorebard.

Before his song-and-dancing days
He was batboy for the A’s

Bravery	Haiku Trades	Same School	“Tools” of Ignorance	Literary Baseball	Ballpark Franks
100	Derek Smart	Jen	Baby Maddux	Humma Kavula	metfaninalaska
200	200	200	Cliff Corcoran	200	200
300	300	300	Next…	300	300
400	400	400	400	400	400
500	500	500	500	500	500

Note: Using the web to search is cheating…you gotta know (or guess) off the top of your head.

Permalink | 10 Comments

Humbugardy: Same School for 100

by Score Bard

2005-08-02 12:26

This is Humbugardy. I’m your host, Alex Scorebard.

Barry Bonds and Reggie:
500 homers: great!
They share this alma mater.

Bravery	Haiku Trades	Same School	“Tools” of Ignorance	Literary Baseball	Ballpark Franks
100	Derek Smart	Jen	Baby Maddux	Humma Kavula	metfaninalaska
200	200	200	Next…	200	200
300	300	300	300	300	300
400	400	400	400	400	400
500	500	500	500	500	500

Note: Using the web to search is cheating…you gotta know (or guess) off the top of your head.

Permalink | 5 Comments

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