Let me now curse all those Mariner bloggers who cursed the Raul Ibanez signing. &#$*(@&$#*)^@!*(@#*&$* you!!!

Also, losing a game on a fake-to-third-throw-to-first balk? What do the A’s think they’re doing? That’s the kind of stupid way to lose the A’s usually reserve exclusively for the postseason.

One thing drives me nuts watching the walk-walk-walk A’s. Nobody can drive the damn run in. They had the bases loaded multiple times last night, got two walks in the first and three in the third tonight, and scored nothing out of any of that. Kielty and Durazo, Beane’s darlings, are the worst offenders. Popups and strikeouts when all you need is a grounder or fly ball to score a run. I don’t mind seeing them lead off an inning, because they can get on base OK, but if there are runners in scoring position, Lord help us.

It’s not just this year. The year Tejada won the MVP, the rest of the A’s lineup batted like .208 with runners in scoring position. The numbers may not support my feelings about this, but it seems like a chronic problem with Billy Beane teams.

I’m beginning to think the optimal lineup would be to have two or three Dusty Baker types mixed in with the Billy Beane guys. Get some guys on base with walks, and then sprinkle in some guys who make a lot of contact. A little diversity can be a good thing.

Every weekday afternoon, I hear the tink-tink-tinking of aluminum bats emanating from Willie Stargell Field, one block from my house. Over time, the sound has become oddly soothing to me, like the ticking of a favorite clock. I often wonder, am I listening to the sounds of the next Dontrelle Willis or Jimmy Rollins to come out of Encinal High?

Willis, who grew up two blocks from here, was mentioned in two recent articles about the scarcity of African-American baseball players. Tim Keown pointed out that there are only four African-American starting pitchers in the majors now: Willis, Darren Oliver, CC Sabathia, and Jerome Williams. Bruce Jenkins points out that only 10% of major league rosters are now African-American.

Keown blames the urban/suburban cultural split. Jenkins blames TV. But is there really a problem?

I count 207 foreign-born players on current 25-man rosters. So that means that there are 543 American-born players.

If 10% of all 25-man rosters are African-American, that’s 75 players. That means 13.8% of American major leaguers are African-American, compared to 12.9% of the general US population (pdf). Jenkins’ complaint looks like it’s not really even a problem.

Keown, however, may have a point. Since 20% of major league rosters are starting pitchers, you should expect about 15 African-American starting pitchers out of 75. Instead, there are only four. But the issue isn’t, as Keown and Jenkins present it, why African-Americans are not playing baseball enough. The issue is why, when they do play, they don’t become pitchers.

It seems unlikely to me that the cause of that is TV or suburbia. I’d guess that stereotyping is the most likely culprit. If you’re African-American, you get stereotyped as an athletic type, so you get to play a position where speed or strength matters. Often, that means “not pitcher”.

Willis, Oliver, and Sabathia are all from Northern California. Williams is from Hawaii. It is a coincidence that the only African-American starting pitchers come from the only two US states where no ethnic group has a majority?

[Correction: New Mexico also has no ethnic majority. Texas does, barely, according to the 2000 census: it’s 52.4% “white, non-Hispanic”.]

Apologies to Jayson Stark: A Google search of the phrase “is the worst hitter” returns the following names:

Mike Bordick
Bill Bergen
Derek Jeter
Enrique Wilson
Cristian Guzman
Rey Ordonez
Brad Ausmus
Gabe Kapler
Mike Thurman
Rey Sanchez
Keith Osik
Junior Spivey
Johnny Damon
Brandon Inge

Many call Moneyball
foolish philosophy,
trusting computers but
doubting one’s eyes.

Seeing’s believing say
those with experience;
antistatistical
faith never dies.

The latest blogosphere meme (from here via here) is to open a book to page 23 and write down the 5th sentence on that page.

I’ll add a little twist to it. Here are the 5th sentences from page 23 of ten baseball books. Can you match the quote to the book?

1) Even now before a world series you find a lot of the experts predicting that “pitching will win the series.”

2) Devore beat out an infield hit, and Doyle bunted and was safe, filling the bases.

3) Neal and Zimmer looked unchanged–Neal intense, withdrawn, talented, too tighly wound for an ideal infielder, and Zimmer eager and competitive, angrily trying to make pugnacity compensate for what he lacks in size, skill, and luck.

4) He lost, but I haven’t noticed any holes in his shoes.

5) He’ll get a look in camp and will pitch in the BOB at some point this summer, perhaps stepping into Valverde’s setup role after Mantei breaks down again.

6) But to get back to that day in 1898 when I first reported to Louisville.

7) If modern players battle fiercely for starting assignments, I have to say that the old-timers were even more wolfish.

8) Yet the Whammer felt oddly relieved.

9) Together with their own first round pick the A’s had, in effect, seven first-round picks.

10) Even now, I can’t stand a dirty house.

And your choices are:

a) Babe Ruth’s Own Book of Baseball
b) Ball Four, by Jim Bouton
c) Baseball Prospectus 2004
d) The Glory of their Times, by Lawrence Ritter
e) Moneyball, by Michael Lewis
f) My Turn At Bat, by Ted Williams
g) The Natural, by Bernard Malamud
h) Pitching in a Pinch, by Christy Mathewson
i) The Summer Game, by Roger Angell
j) Ty Cobb: My Life in Baseball

I’ll let you guess, then I’ll post the answer in the comments.

I (Ken) went to San Diego this week. Thursday evening, I went to a game at Petco Park. I’ll assemble my thoughts on Petco later, but here’s a quick story:

I was wandering along the main concourse at Petco, when I realized I was walking shoulder-to-shoulder with someone. I turned to look at the guy, and I recognized him.

I searched my brain for a name to match the face, but I drew a blank. Where did I know him from? School? Work? TV?

Nothing. I couldn’t think of a name, or where I had seen this man before. He turned to look at me, and we made eye contact.

If I hadn’t recognized him, I could have just smiled or nodded and moved on. But what if it was an old friend or something? I didn’t want to be rude. I had to say something. So I entered into chit-chat mode.

“Hi,” I said.

“Hi,” said the man.

I recalled once running into Paul Molitor this same way, walking along a concourse. Is this guy an ex-player? A scout? A GM? Maybe he works for the Padres, I thought. I decided to say something about Petco.

“Nice ballpark,” I said.

“It is a nice ballpark,” he agreed.

Then he turned to enter his seating section, and we parted. An instant later, the name came to me: Frank McCourt.

I had just been chatting with the owner of the Dodgers, and the only thing I managed to say to him was how nice the Padres’ home ballpark is. D’oh!

I’ve been suffering from a major case of l’esprit d’escalier ever since. If you have the chance to say one sentence to Frank McCourt, what should you say?

“Number six-sixty!”
The words swam through azure skies
to a rural road

near a small green hill
where a lone cow sat chewing,
breathing the airwaves.

Blogging from me (Ken) will be light this week. So I’ll just offer a few quick notes. I’m apologetic.

It’s nice to know that I’m allowed to write about politics if I want. Of course, I’m also allowed to have a root canal without anesthetics.

Bobby Crosby has been very solid on defense, but shaky at the plate. I had expected the opposite. He seems patient early in the count, but if you get two strikes on him, he swings at anything. Kinda reminds me of a young Matt Williams. If Crosby can have a career resembling Williams’, you’ll have some happy fans of the Athletics.

Et maintenant: I have seen Khalil Greene. Wow. He looks spiffy both in the field and at the plate. Suddenly, Rey Ordonez’s character is a lot more sympathetic.

This architectural review of Petco Park is good. I especially like the phrase, “The quality that makes SBC Park so lastingly seductive is that its virtues are born of necessity. [snip] But at Petco Park, and at many of the other 15 major-league ball fields that have opened since 1991, quirks were designed by committee.” Exactly. There’s a difference between real beauty and cosmetics.

Every personality test I take says I’m an architectural type: I am driven to understand and design systems. I love to see a simple system of ideas result in complex functionality. I get jazzed about the simple idea of a logic gate making computers possible. I’m fascinated that the difference between two kinds of human memory can result in aesthetics.

So this explanation of Google’s architecture really excites me. Oh, the possibilities! But I find that my enthusiasm for an architectural vision is usually hard to share. People don’t get it until they can see and touch the final output. I always end up feeling like Tim Robbins in The Hudsucker Proxy. Here’s my great idea:

For kids…see? And I think I’m brilliant, and everyone else looks at me like I’m pathetic.

I don’t share Jason Kottke’s enthusiasm that this architecture will make Google the most important company in the world in 5-8 years. I once helped found for a company that was a calculated bet on the Netscape/Java web architecture. I thought that one of two things would happen: (a) Microsoft would change, or (b) we’d be on the winning side. Wrong, bozo. Microsoft found a third path: (c) use your monopoly power to crush the competition. When Microsoft is an obstacle, I learned the hard way not to be optimistically prophetic.

That’s all the time I have, so now I’ll stop waxing poetic.

OK, I’ve heard “Who’s on First” a gazillion times, but there’s one joke I don’t get. Can anyone explain this to me?

Abbott: Strange names, pet names…like Dizzy Dean…
Costello: His brother Daffy.
Abbott: Daffy Dean…
Costello: And their French cousin.
Abbott: French?
Costello: Goofé.
Abbott: Goofé Dean.

The audience on the recording laughs at this, but I just go, huh? Goofy Dean? French? I’m missing something. Why is this funny?

We put the kids to bed, then I told my wife I had a surprise for her.

“Hey, new shoes! Nice,” said the wife. “Now are those quarters in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

For some reason, she wasn’t very happy with my answer, or the surprise…

—

So I’m happy to welcome my new leader, Scott. Which reminds me of a corny joke I heard today. Don’t know if this joke works outside the Bay Area or not, but:

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Scott.
Scott who?
Congratulations, you’re on the jury.

Let’s dip into the mailbag…

You write good but watch out for people stilling poems.
–Mariah

People-stilling poems? Is that some kind of poetic musical chairs freeze tag?
I’ve never played it but I’m willing to try.

Round and round the bases they go
The monkey and the marlin,
The snake thought it was all in fun:
The yankee quotes George Carlin.

OK, who doesn’t have a seat? Sorry, tiger, you’re out. Oh, don’t cry…

Was just wondering if you’ve bailed on Barry Zito forever, forever.
–Ryan

Well, I’m still ticked off that Barry Zito’s uncle didn’t show up that night and change history for me. And if Zito is willing to mess around with the space-time continuum himself, why the heck doesn’t he just go back in time and change those playoff homers he gave up to Posada and Ramirez? I think he’s just full of hot air, that’s what I think. So yes, my wrath may never, ever wane.

But you never know. Time travel creates all kinds of temporal parodoxes. When you’ve got a guy like Zito messing with space-time itself, forever and forever squared are difficult concepts to ascertain.

Does the Prime Minister know of your families past? If so, is he nervous living next to the relative of the assassin of a former King?
–Bill

My brother and Swedish Prime Minister Persson have been neighbors twice, in two different cities, and they once had a conversation in a bar at the Rejkjavik airport in Iceland. Not only is Persson not nervous about it, I think they’re secretly in love with each other.

Having said that, I don’t think Mr. Persson trusts me at all. Every time I go to visit, Mr. Persson is conveniently “out of town”. Or he’s just “too busy” to invite me over for afternoon coffee. Or he has these mean “security guards” who won’t let anyone in to his home for a chat. Yeah, right. You and I know the real reason: that chicken Swede is worried about the kind of unilateral cowboy action that may eminate from a tough-skinned, unpredictable American brother.

What’s this humbug I hear about Will Carroll?
–Dan

Will Carroll is a guy who has a magical secret place where he can go spend time not talking about injuries. And don’t we all need a place where we can go spend time not talking about injuries? What a lucky boy is he!

He is full of guts and gore, prospectus and condiments, notably horseradish, cheese wiz, bacon bits, and soy sauce. What is humbug, however, is the rumor that Will Carroll contains chutney.

I’m gonna play Will Carroll for this one.

The protagonists of tonight’s Rangers-A’s game were four players who had injury-plagued seasons last year. They all look healthy now. Mark Mulder and Chan Ho Park dueled it out, and both pitched fabulously. It helped that the home plate umpire, Brian Runge, had a far more generous strike zone tonight than last night’s ump, Dana Demuth.

Jim Mecir took over for Mulder in the eighth. He is quite noticeably thinner; he lost over 20 pounds to take pressure off his troublesome knee. He also pitched great; his screwball seemed to have much more bite than it did at any time last year.

And then there’s Jermaine Dye. Dye won the game with a homer in the sixth off Park. I’ve seen Dye four games in a row now, and he is a monster. The last two years, with his legs hurt, you could blow fastballs by him at will. Now, his hips are rotating quickly; he is getting around on those fastballs, and crushing them.

On Saturday, he took two fastballs off the plate inside and yanked them for a homer and a double. Yesterday, he singled and doubled to right. He’s smoking the ball all over the field. Everything is hit hard, even his outs. Yadda yadda sample size, but unless he hurts those legs again, he looks to me like he’s going to destroy all of those conservative projections for him. This isn’t the Jermaine Dye of 2002-03.

I’m going to the game tomorrow; Colby Lewis vs. Barry Zito. Should be fun.

It’s late, these notes will be short, cuz I’m feeling tired.
I’m glad Bobby Kielty was acquired.
The umpire was calling all the low strikes balls.
Hudson ended up throwing a lot of pitches because he wasn’t getting his calls.
The Rangers may have lost ARod, but they can still have a very good offensive attack.
Jermaine Dye is back.
This game was a good one with had a lot of twists and turns.
Eric Byrnes!
The Rangers need a better LOOGY than Mahay.
Arthur Rhodes will probably be OK.

This game has some moments, and a couple of strange plays. But forget that: only two things mattered here: Barry Bonds and Willie Mays.

Bonds raked two fastballs off Roy Oswalt to left field for doubles. Oswalt walked him next time up, to save himself the trouble.

Mays joined the Giants broadcast booth for an inning, which was pretty fun.
He said he’s going to give Bonds a torch when Bonds hits 661.

In his day, besides himself, Mays decreed, only Vada Pinson and Mickey Mantle had more speed.

Bonds came up in the eighth, with two on and one out, Giants down 4-1. Jimy Williams decides not to put on base the tying run.

Not an easy choice; a hard one to decide; but Jimy’s choice was wrong, one pitch and we were tied.

I don’t think Mays will need that torch as a gift to give, because Barry Bonds shouldn’t see a pitch to hit as long as he shall live.

Kevin Millwood and Kip Wells throwing well, the innings fly by fast.

Game Break: Ben Grieve goes deep! Brewers lead 4-1. St. Louis comes back and ties it. Dave Burba relieves Ben Sheets. Dave Burba? Isn’t he from a decade in the past?

Pirates take the lead in the fifth with a double to right by Tike.

Imagine a ballpark designed by Frank Gehry. What would that be like?

Is it the fault of teachers that more kids don’t turn to poetry for enjoyment?

Littlefield and McClendon got contract extensions today? Okayyyy…I guess it’s not brain surgery, and somebody needs to give Raul Mondesi employment.

Royals score six in the ninth to beat the White Sox, 9-7! That’s a surprising Game Break.

Craig Wilson homers. Dude can rake.

Why does the Herald Tribune logo show a clock at 6:12? And does every watch ad show the time is ten past ten?

A scary thought for Pirate fans: they’re going to the pen.

Rollins drives in a run with a sac fly. Philly down 2-1.

Mesa mows ’em down in the ninth, and the Pirates have won!

Top 1, Corey beats Cory, as Patterson takes Lidle deep. “Dusty Baker doesn’t want to see that,” says Joe Morgan, immediately placing his unique logic on full display.

Sosa pops up. Alou flies to left. If they’re hitting the ball in the air off Lidle, the Reds are in for a long day.

Adjectives: there’s no reason to fear them.

When Lidle struggles, he nibbles, and now he loads the bases. Alou doubles to clear them.

Reds scratch out a couple against Wood, but the rally dies when Casey strikes out.

GMail looks tempting, but privacy makes me pause with doubt.

Barrett hustles himself into a triple. He should have been out at third.

7-0 Tigers. Perhaps picking the Tigers to win the AL Central wasn’t so absurd.

ESPN shows Sandy Alomar Jr. homering in Ozzie Guillen’s managerial debut. My wife says: “Ozzie Guillen? Ozzie Guillen is managing? Whose idea was that?”

5-4 now after a double by Casey at the bat.

Hey, Ruz, it’s Mike Wuertz! He throws strikes! He goes 1-2-3! He knows how to perform!

Stretch time. The last few innings have been quiet. The clam before the storm?

My spelling is gelling!

Kent Mercker? Isn’t he too old yet?

Cubs score two when Dunn arrives at a fly, but then forgets to hold it.

Wow! A single to center with men on first and third becomes a double play: 8-2-5!

Borowski’s save looks shaky, but he manages to survive.

The Red Sox begin 0-1,
Just like the Yankees begun.
I’m relieved they’re both beatable;
I think a competeable
Division would be much more fun.

There’s a nice story in today’s SF Chronicle magazine about a childhood encounter with Babe Ruth.

I went to the A’s-Giants game yesterday, and saw something yesterday that may never be repeated. Granted, this was just spring training, but still…

Ricardo Rincon was pitching, top of the 7th, game tied, one out, one run in, runners on second and third. First base was open and Barry Bonds was up. Pedro Feliz was on deck, with A.J. Pierzynski following.

So you walk Bonds, right?

Not Rincon. He has a huge lefty/righty split, so he prefers facing left-handed batters. So Rincon goes right after Bonds and gets him to pop up. He walks the right-handed Feliz semi-intentionally on four pitches, then retires the lefty-batting Pierzynski to escape the rest of the inning unharmed.

I laughed. It’s as if Rincon said to himself, “OK, Bonds, Pierzynski–easy outs. Just don’t let Pedro Feliz beat you. You always gotta be careful with Pedro Feliz.”

Surfing the web while watching A’s vs. Giants on TV.

“Jerome Williams looks like he still needs a note from home to pitch in a night game.” Ah, it’s so nice that Hank Greenwald gave up being a retiree.

Top of the first, Eric Chavez takes Jerome Williams yard.

If Ed Cossette can complain about Sears, then I can proclaim that I’d rather work side by side with the Poopsmith all day than stand in line to return something at Home Depot. Why must they make it so hard?

I didn’t want this: a reason to bring my laptop to the game.

Zito walks Snow. His fastballs are up too high. Grissom pops up on a high 3-1 fastball with Bonds on deck. Then Bonds pops up, too. It didn’t take Zito long to rediscover his aim.

Williams’ sinker looks good tonight. The Chavez blast didn’t leave Williams shaken.

Who is this SB Poet person? Isn’t that name taken?

“Mohr struck out 106 times last year, and is not unfamiliar with that walk back to the dugout,” says Hank.

Things I never considered before and never will again #298: the fine art of avoiding dishes that clank.

Greenwald on Zito’s batting: “Some guys would be happy to hit their weight. Barry would be happy to hit his number.”

The other Barry, Bonds, rakes a line-drive double to the wall even though he broke his lumber.

Neifi Perez is worth $6.1 million! Statistics now show it!

This explains everything: a good programmer is a poet.

Zito has a new upright position out of the stretch. A’s pitching coach Curt Young is on mic and says Zito thinks it puts him closer to the same motion as his windup. The better posture also gives him a much better pickoff move, it helps take pressure off his knee, and just generally makes him look more handsome.

Just to prove Curt Young right, Zito picks off Cody Ransom.

Oh no! What happened to homestarrunner.com?

Zito is mowing guys down. If you were worried about Zito losing it, be calm.

I’ve wondered why my poetry is so much better than my prose; now I found a tool that shows me the reason.

I don’t agree with all of Will’s politics, but I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a “curiously nattering philosophy of treason.”

Today’s trivia: “Six players from the 1989 World Series played for both the Giants and the A’s. What are their names?”:

Says Hank, “The 1989 World Series, isn’t that the one where the underdog Giants took the heavily favored A’s all the way to four games?”

Of all the things that happen in April, isn’t National Poetry Month is the biggest event?

Barry Zito’s pitch selection last year: fastball 55.3%, curveball 22.0%, changeup 22.7%.

Bonds pops up to right on a 3-0 two-out fastball. McMillon drops the ball. Santos, on first, wasn’t running hard all the way and gets thrown out at the plate.

Zito goes seven scoreless. He was great.

Ugh. Eric Byrnes gets beaned in the helmet by Leo Estrella. He’s lying prone on the ground. Blood is flowing down his head.

Byrnes gets carted off. Good news, it seems there’s no concussion, just a nasty cut that bled.

Trivia: if you answered, “Dave Henderson, Stan Javier, Bill Bathe, Kelly Downs, Kevin Mitchell, and Ernest Riles”, you were right.

Scutaro makes a nice diving catch in the 9th. I’m rooting for him to win the job at second. Mecir closes it out. A’s win 4-0, game over, and good night.