Atlanta Braves

Can Byrd and Ortiz come across

To make Kevin and Tom less a loss?

And can Leo Mazzone

Roll the Rockie turned stony,

Or will Hampton keep gathering Moss?

Montreal Expos

Next year the Expos are gone.

They’ll leave Montreal and San Juan.

If no city or county

Will pay Selig’s bounty

They’re welcome to play on my lawn.

Philadelphia Phillies

With Thome and Millwood and Bell,

There’s no excuse not to do well.

For if they play poorly,

I can say surely

That Bowa will give them some hell.

Florida Marlins

Marlins fans, pray to your Lord

To ward off a dreary scoreboard.

With each fragile arm

That suffers more harm

Florida yawns, as if Tor-bored.

New York Mets

The Mets think the future is now,

But that thought I would disavow.

There’s pitching fragility,

Offensive senility,

Plus defensive futility, and Howe!