O’er the world a star is sweetly gleaming.

“I’ll be honest with you. We want to leave DJ alone and let the kid play. He’s too good a hitter and too important to the team. … We are all Dan Johnson fans.”

Said Billy Beane, as he checked his cell phone to see if Erubiel Durazo was ready to sign a minor league deal with the A’s.

Ah, I love it when Billy Beane is being honest with me.

This is the time of year where Billy Beane really shines: when all the big names have been shuffled around, and the press goes home from the Winter Meetings and go into hibernation until spring training, watching Beane pluck guys off the wires and fill in the roster at Sacramento is a blast.

Signing Durazo–who may finally be healthy for the first time in over two years (he’s currently destroying the Mexican Winter League)–would make perfect sense for the 25-man roster if the A’s hadn’t just signed Mike Piazza to DH, or if Durazo could actually play a position. Theoretically, Durazo can play first base, or even outfield (as he did in Arizona back in 2001), but OWWW MY EYES IT BURNS IT BURNS! Even the mere thought of watching Durazo in the field is torturous. Of course, they could let Durazo DH, and try Piazza at first. YEEEEEEEOOOWWWWCHH NO PLEASE STOP PLEASE MAKE IT GO AWAY!

Maybe Durazo will be improved in the field now that he is fully recovered from his Tommy John surgery. And maybe Jason Kendall will hit 20 home runs next year. We all love a happy surprise.

But really, this doesn’t change Plan A: Piazza is the everyday DH, and Dan Johnson is in an effective platoon with Bobby Kielty (Kielty in LF and Swisher at 1B vs. lefties; Swisher in LF and Johnson at 1B vs. righties). Billy Beane would never, ever lie to us, you know.

Although Durazo doesn’t really fill an immediate hole on the 25-man roster, the signing is still quite clever. Even if you have to stash Durazo at Sacramento for awhile, having him in the organization provides depth at four positions:

DH: Obviously.

First base: Painful though it may be to watch, Durazo is 1B insurance in case Johnson struggles or gets hurt.

Outfield: When Kotsay and Bradley go down with their inevitable injuries, Durazo provides more flexibility to keep Swisher in the outfield, and could maybe even be a warm body they could run out there in an emergency.

Catcher: If Kendall or Melhuse get hurt, you slide Piazza into a catching role. Durazo takes over at DH while Piazza catches.

So much upside, and very little risk. Nicely done, Mr. Beane!

Insert Mariners metaphor here.

(Thanks to my wife for this photo.)

Just got back from a quick family trip to Disneyland. I was on the Haunted Mansion ride when the ride got stuck. I was forced to listen to a barbership quintet of pumpkins sing the phrase “We wish you…a scary, scary Christmas” for about six minutes straight.

I thought it would never end.

“…and a haunted New Year.” *Shudder*

I started out for God knows where
But I guess I’ll know when I get there.

I have questions and they know everything.

Squint hard enough, maybe you can see me up there.

Close your eyes, I’ll be on my way.
Dream about the days to come.

My favorite thing about Milton Bradley is that, more than any player I’ve ever seen, he seems–what’s the phrase I’m looking for?–totally psyched to draw a walk.

Huzzah for walks!

I may have left some people thinking I don’t care for walks after a recent throw-away comment I made about walking in RBI situations. Jon Weisman took me to task for it yesterday over at Dodger Thoughts.

My beliefs are a bit more subtle than that flip statement made it seem. (I explained this in more detail in the DT thread.)

It’s not that I don’t like walks in RBI situations. For a batter, a walk is always a good thing. But in some game situations, a ball in play has extra value. At those times, it’s nice to have a good contact hitter at the plate. The A’s haven’t had many good contact hitters over the years, so Jay Payton was a refreshing change. That doesn’t necessarily make him a better player, overall, but the contrast with the recent past helped me enjoy Payton’s tenure in Oakland.

I think these A’s fans are cheering because their division rivals keep doing stupid things.

Jay Payton has left the A’s for Baltimore. He leaves Oakland as a well-liked, if not well-loved player. He did his job, played up to expectations. The thing I liked about him is that when you needed him to put the ball in play to drive home a run, he would put the ball in play and drive home the run. It was nice change from the oh-so-frustrating draw-a-walk-in-RBI-situations days of Jeremy Giambi and Erubiel Durazo. Of course, he would rarely draw a walk in an need-to-get-on-base situation, but you can’t have everything.

We finally have a non-Mets trade rumor. Dan Haren for Jeremy Reed! One of the best pitchers in the AL for a guy who can’t hold on to his job on the worst team in the division! Thank you, John Hickey, for making stuff up, just like I asked. That was incredibly creative.

One theme seems to be emerging, however: Beane is shopping for a young center fielder. Milledge, Reed…he’s looking to replace Kotsay, who (a) is a free agent after next season, (b) had his full no-trade clause expire after the 2006 season, and (c) has, by the numbers, suffered a severe drop in defensive range over the past two seasons. Kotsay may have a better reputation right now than actual value, which means Beane should probably trade him if he can. But first, he needs someone to play center in 2007, because Payton is gone, and Milton Bradley can’t be trusted to stay healthy. (Neither can Kotsay, for that matter.)

Still, two rumors isn’t enough for me, so I’ll make up a rumor right now: Billy Beane has a deal in place to trade Mark Kotsay to the Chicago White Sox for Gio Gonzalez and another prospect, but it won’t happen until and unless Beane can find another centerfielder from elsewhere.

Oooh, doesn’t that just sound tantalizingly plausible, even though I pulled it out of my ????

Every time the A’s make a big coup like signing Alan Embree, the Angels come right back with a brilliant counter-move, like signing Darren Oliver. This rivalry is insane!

In which another big head gets in the way of my photograph…

Click on image for wider view.

Here are two players’ career pitching stats. Both players were 27 years old last season.

IP     SO    BB    ERA   WHIP   ERA+
Player A   815.3  575   363   4.65   1.44    96
Player B   798.0  507   280   4.79   1.46    97

Player A has more strikeouts, but also more walks. Now if I told you that Player A spent his entire career in one of the best pitchers parks in baseball, and Player B spent almost two years pitching in Coors Field, which player would you say is better?

I dunno either. Seems to me that they’re pretty much the same guy. Except perhaps that Player A is right-handed, and a free agent, and Player B is left-handed, and has a year left before free agency.

Player A just signed a five-year contract for $55 million. Player A is Gil Meche. Player B is Joe Kennedy.

Yesterday, I objected to placing Kennedy in the rotation. Obviously, I’m an idiot, and Billy Beane is a genius. The A’s have a pitcher worth $55 million! You don’t waste pitchers worth $55 million (even if you’re only paying them about $4 million) by having them get a couple of outs in the sixth inning every few days. You get every penny of your $55 million worth, and pitch them as many innings as possible!

Sheesh. What was I thinking?

My kids’ latest running gag is to go around singing Christmas songs, but replacing the word “Christmas” with the word “fish stick”.

“I’m dreaming of a white fish stick…” “On the first day of fish sticks, my true love gave to me…” “Have a holly jolly fish stick…” “Fish stick is coming, the goose is getting fat…”

So is it any wonder that the first thought that passed into my head upon reading this story from Ken Rosenthal was this:

“…although it’s been said many times, many ways: Mike Piazza to you.”

* * *

I’m happy about singing signing Piazza. He won’t quite be Frank Thomas, but he’s a good fit. A healthy year from Chavez and Crosby might make up for the difference between Thomas and Piazza. I have hope.

On the other hand, I’m not so sure I like signing Alan Embree and moving Joe Kennedy to the rotation. Kennedy was fabulous out of the pen last year, but I’ve never seen him do anything but struggle as a starter. I’d rather keep him in a role where he had success.

Plus, I saw enough Alan Embree here in the Bay Area as a Giant to know how flaky he can be. Like Jay Witasick, he can be good at times, and at other times he can get so out of sync that you want to send him to single-A to learn how to pitch again. I don’t need that kind of frustration, thank you.

* * *

And while I’m peddling in rumors: can we please have an A’s trade rumor that doesn’t involve the Mets? C’mon! There are 28 other teams! This same old stuff is getting really boring. I don’t care if it’s real or not. If nothing else, just make something up. I’m begging you.