Though Avery’s outing was brief,
His win ended years full of grief.
When he used to start,
Wins were five days apart.
Four years? It’s quite a relief.

Moving Piazza to first,
Which he has never rehearsed,
Helps the catching improve,
But there’s risk in the move
For the infield, now bad, may get worst.

The Giants first feared that Robb Nen
Might never be pitching again.
But the surgeon’s sharp knife
Has saved his arm’s life.
His return isn’t if now, it’s when.

I think that young A.J. Burnett
Has said something he might regret.
The feeding hand
If bit, gets you canned,
Just go ask Peter Arnett.

An injury to the oblique
Is often considered a freak.
But with Chad Fox
The news hardly shocks;
He has such a fragile physique.

Today at the Vet, Kevin Millwood
Did something that no recent Phil could.
He earned with his zeroes
A rank among heroes
That even surpasses Curt Schillhood.

Though usually they are phenomenal,
This year their help has been nominal.
Johnson explained,
“My right knee’s inflamed,”
While Schilling’s excuse is abdominal.

A new way to watch Boston ball
Is atop Fenway’s famous green wall.
I hope that high climb
Is not like the rhyme
Where we hear about bad eggs who fall.

These days, I can’t blame Bob Brenly
For not being terribly friendly.
Each way you lose
Results in the blues,
But the worst way to lose is againly.

The Pirates’ big star, Brian Giles,
Has a case of the out-for-a-whiles.
While he rehabs his knee,
They will play offense-free,
Though Pittsburgh will issue denials.

We fight Iraq so they won’t get

A nuclear reactor.

In Cooperstown, a bigger threat

Is Nuke LaLoosh, the actor.

Someone tell the Hall of Fame

That if you take a stance

Don’t find Americans to blame;

That’s why we have France.

Or, do a dance:

• The Petroskey Polka (low bandwidth) (try this first, 235K, mp3)
• The Petroskey Polka (high bandwidth) (626K, mp3)

Pedro gets battered around?

The world has been turned upside down!

Will wonders not cease?

Whodathunk that back east,

K.C.’d be the talk of the town?

Today I have learned something new

As Randy got crushed by the Crew.

I had heard people say:

“On any given day…”

But I never had thought it was true.

Now fragile, just like a cracked egg,

A long reign is on its last leg.

After years of control

Comes a test of Braves’ souls

If Maddux is Mike and not Greg.

I know that it may sound outrageous,

As this shoulder disease is contagious,

But Ken’s low endurance

If the Reds bought insurance

Might fiscally be advantageous.

In Hell, fields are covered with snow.

Chicago’s famed winds will not blow.

The White Sox are crying

‘Cause pigs started flying;

The Royals are now 3 and 0.

Though certainly there’s been no doubtin’

That few can compel us like Bouton,

I would have preferred

That he’d sometimes be heard

Without some new book that he’s toutin’.

We should be discussing the Rocket

As he put one more win in his pocket.

But forget Roger’s heater;

Poor Derek Jeter

Had his armbone dislodged from its socket.

Arizona Diamondbacks

While 2001 was quite thrilling

Last year was not so fulfilling.

Add Dessens’ acquisition

To Kim’s new transition:

The coalition of the Randy and Schilling.

San Francisco Giants

With wintertime’s painful lament,

Some Giants have packed up their tent.

Durham, Cruz and Grissom

Will help fans not miss ’em;

Alfonzo will proxy for Kent.

Los Angeles Dodgers

Their arms will be really on track

If Dreifort and Brown can come back.

Though they rise from the rubble,

Pitching’s not LA’s trouble,

It’s their feeble offensive attack.

Colorado Rockies

Dan O’Dowd should be admired

For the players that he just acquired.

He was once too aggressive

But this winter’s impressive:

The Hampton dump was Justin Speiered.

San Diego Padres

Since Nevin and Hoffman got sore,

They’ll focus on 2004.

Perez, Peavy, Eaton,

And Lawrence will sweeten

Petco Park: need I say more?

St. Louis Cardinals

With Izzy and Edmonds and Drew

Hurt and replaced by a crew

Of Palmeiro, Marrero,

Kline and Fassero,

It’s tricky to guess how they’ll do.

Houston Astros

Where Kent once had Nen and Worrell,

It’s Wagner set up by Dotel.

But his favorite trade

Is the minutely made

Ballpark compared to Pac Bell.

Cincinnati Reds

With Kearns joining Griffey and Dunn

The Reds’ outfield sure will be fun.

While their hitting earns raves,

They’ll be digging their Graves

If their pitching yields run after run.

Pittsburgh Pirates

If Ramirez and Kendall come back

And Lofton and Sanders can hack

With the usual Giles,

You will see this year’s smiles

Won’t be laughs at the yellow and black.

Chicago Cubs

While Sosa belongs with the greats,

He’s gotten no help from his mates.

If the others won’t hit,

It’s so sad to admit,

The Cubs would be in Prior straits.

Milwaukee Brewers

A franchise-wide hole has been dug.

Yes, Sexson can certainly slug,

And I think I can say

That the pitching’s OK,

But the rest of that lineup is –Ugh!